Real Marriage Chapter 1: Thoughts and Our Story

Posted on January 27, 2012 by

The first chapter of “Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship and Life Together” by Mark and Grace Driscoll is titled “New Marriage, Same Spouse”. The chapter talks about their testimonies as they came to Jesus, met each other and got married. It discussed the pains and trials they faced as they dealt with past sins, as well as hidden sins that were not revealed until after marriage.

I appreciated the honesty of the Driscolls. There was no hiding behind theological words or theories. Instead they opened themselves up in a way I have not seen from many authors who write on marriage. Some may say that writing on those personal struggles is not good for a pastor to do. I think just the opposite. Many books, good ones at that, deal with the theology of marriage, the gospel and marriage as theory, but never give it flesh. This opening chapter opened a door to see how Jesus works in the real mess of marriage that comes when 2 sinners join to become one.

The chapter was not a “look how we overcame chapter”. It was filled with confession and regret, it was blunt and authentic. It was however, not blunt for blunt sake, it was blunt to show the need for the gospel to be revealed and saturated in a marriage.

Last night Lauren and I watched the first sermon from Pastor Mark that came from the same topic the chapter did. We were moved by the plea by Pastor Mark to not let secrets remain any longer between us. We had a good discussion and also were reminded how God had worked his mercy and grace in our own messy marriage.

Our Story

Lauren and I started dating 7 years ago this month. I was in love with her from the start. The problem however was I began to worship her, and moved away from walking and trusting Jesus. I put her on a pedestal and wanted nothing more than to marry her. Our dating relationship quickly moved into an area of immorality. We began to sleep together regularly. Usually waking up regretting what we had done, promising to “try harder” and “do better” only to fail a few days later. The problem was, was that we were doing it alone, without our focus on Jesus. After another weekend of regret and pain we realized this sin needed to be brought into light. We went into Lauren’s home and confessed to her parents. There has never been a more humbling time than to sit before Lauren’s dad and confess my own failure and disregard for his daughter. Her parents were gracious, gentle and forgiving, they did ask about what would happen if Lauren got pregnant. We didn’t think that was a possibility, we had been having sex for several months without that happening, what would make this time different.

It felt as if God had brought about true repentance in our lives. Over the next few weeks we didn’t struggle or feel a need to be with each other in an immoral way. It was then Lauren realized she was “late” and after taking a pregnancy test we realized we were going to be parents. We were already planning to be married, but this did push those plans up, not out of compulsion, but because Lauren didn’t want to be noticeably pregnant on her wedding day (not that we didn’t want people to know, she just didn’t want to have to have a maternity wedding dress).

By God’s grace we did not sin against each other again during the 3 months of our engagement. We did carry in the consequences of the sin. Our first year of marriage was difficult and filled with tension. I was bitter for having to get a job to “pay the bills” that I did not like or feel good at. Lauren was learning to be a wife and deal with being pregnant all at once. Our intimacy was there but was tainted. We would find many times were we could not be intimate because of the pain of regret and memories of our sin. It took time for that area to be healed and made whole.

Jesus was teaching us many lessons in this time too. We learned about the wickedness of our sin, the beauty of God’s love and the hope found in Him. We learned about the need for grace to be evident in our marriage. We were also blessed with a beautiful daughter who we love and who I am blessed to take out on daddy-daughter dates.  I believe we are now in a place where our marriage is healthier and stronger than ever. We are more in love and attracted to each other than ever. We also have become each other’s best friends, and we really love that.

via Searching for the Light Photography

While Lauren and I didn’t have any secrets like the Driscolls did, we had some big bags we had to deal. And like the Driscolls are learning to lean into Jesus in order to love and care for each other better. Jesus has used our story in many lives around us and we are grateful to be able to share it to help others. We have been blessed to do many couples pre-marital counseling and feel like we can help people avoid the land-mines we ran to and jumped on.

Chapter 2 Review and Thoughts coming next week…

Click here to purchase “Real Marriage” via Amazon

Pastor Mark’s sermon series “Real Marriage” can be found here

Posted in Biblical Manhood, Biblical Womanhood, Books, Mark Driscoll, Marriage | Leave a comment

Elephant Room 2 Review

Posted on January 26, 2012 by

Yesterday I had the privilege to attend a site that was hosting a simulcast of the Elephant Room 2 (ER2). In case you don’t know, the Elephant Room is a conference/meeting where pastors from various theological, methodological leanings come together to talk about differences. It is a place where leaders come together to talk to each other, instead of the constant talking about each other found on the world-wide web.

This year’s ER2 featured host James MacDonald from Harvest Bible Fellowship in Chicago, Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church, Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in North Carolina, Wayne Cordeiro from New Hope Christian Fellowship in Hawaii, Jack Graham from Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas, Crawford Lorritts from Fellowship Bible Church in Atlanta and Bishop T. D. Jakes from Potter’s House in Dallas.

Below is a few things I learned from this event (as well as the one last year):

  1. Face to Face Matters: I had pre-conceived notions about Bishop Jakes (as I did last year with Steven Furtick), those were blown away after watching him answer questions about his beliefs and his pastoral ministry. I assumed things from what I read on blogs about him, but never actually heard any thing from him. We need to as Christian leaders stop assuming the worst of people’s theology or motives, and be willing to discuss and talk with each other for the sake of unity and the gospel. I think if there was one thing that looked bad after this event it was the blogosphere’s constant yelling at and never discussing with one another.
  1. Diverse Teachers: I think when you are in a theological camp (reformed is mine for instance) you think you can only read, learn and listen to the voices in that camp. This is a real hinderance to growth and humility. We need to be willing to listen to leaders and pastors who we may not agree with on some things but can agree with on the main thing, Jesus. I’ve benefitted greatly from men like Steven Furtick and Perry Noble, in fact Furtick’s book “Sun Stand Still” is one of the best and most inspiring books on prayer I’ve read.
  1. I am Grateful for Mark Driscoll: Mark seems to take punches from all sides. He especially takes shots from people who seem to be within the reformed world, his own camp! Yet through it all he is leading a network of church planters in Acts 29 (which I am a part of) in pressing forward humbly and boldly. Mark was the one to face T.D. Jakes and asked some hard questions about his theology, but also did so with a spirit of love and charity, not critique and skepticism. I can follow a man who is so passionate about people meeting Jesus that he is more than willing to associate, partner and learn from people of all backgrounds and theological leanings for the sake of the gospel.

There will be critics who wished Jakes had been pressed harder and deeper, and that’s really not fair. The man was humble and willing to come way outside his comfort zone for the sake of unity, we should applaud and be humbled by that.  Critics will always find stones to throw especially on the internet. Yes, we need to be a theologically solid people, but we have to admit we have holes and can learn from others. Christians should be known for their willingness to discuss and give each other the benefit of the doubt. We should be slow to critique, blog and tweet and quick to listen, learn and love.

 

Posted in Acts 29, Communication, Conferences, Leadership, Local Church, Mark Driscoll, Theology | 2 Comments

Happy Birthday Jordyn Piper

Posted on January 21, 2012 by

6 years ago today I became a daddy, and it has been a blast. As well as a great time of growth in learning about the grace of God towards an imperfect and messy dad.

I am blessed to be Jordyn’s daddy and am grateful for the life God has given me to watch over.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDYN!!!!

Posted in Family | Leave a comment

“Real Marriage” with The Griegos

Posted on January 12, 2012 by

Marriage is hard. Many books about marriage give great theory but stink when it comes to the lab of real life. Mark and Grace Driscoll know this and have written a book about the realities of marriage. In a fitting way they have titled it “Real Marriage“.

Starting next week I will be reviewing the book chapter by chapter with guest appearances by my wife Lauren.

We hope this journey through this much-needed book will be both beneficial and helpful for many. I encourage you to read along with us, and to join Mars Hill Church and Pastor Mark in the Real Marriage sermon series starting this week.

If you want to buy Real Marriage click here.

Below is a video intro for the book from Pastor Mark and his wife, Grace.

Posted in Acts 29, Biblical Manhood, Biblical Womanhood, Books, Mark Driscoll, Marriage, Mars Hill Church | Leave a comment

Update on Redemption Church

Posted on January 6, 2012 by

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:4-7 ESV)

 

In church planting there are many lessons that Jesus teaches. One of the most recent and biggest lessons I have learned is to hold “my” plans with an open hand. I have learned that I must surrender my own designs, timelines and dreams of Redemption Church fully to Jesus. To not do this, is to sin against the Lord, by saying that this is my church and not His. Jesus is the senior pastor of Redemption Church, and that is something to rejoice in, the Good Shepherd is leading His flock. He is faithful in it. He is wise and full of grace towards us. This has been the lesson that Jesus has taught me recently.

 

How did He do this?

 

In November we signed a lease on a location on the corner of Southern and 528 in the Rio Rancho Shopping Center. The location seemed like a great location, that needed some work but not much. We had begun to paint and to make the place ours. We were planning and excited about a January 22nd launch date.

 

The week after we painted, we learned that this location would not work. We would not be able to have a occupancy needed for a small but growing church plant.

 

Jesus put us on our knees. Jesus was about to show us that in church planting planning is important, but not as important as trusting Him.

 

There was another unit in the same shopping center that was bigger, and in many ways better. However it did require more work. There was not another option though however. We couldn’t stay in our current location, and even if we were to move out of the shopping center there was not many other viable options in the area of Rio Rancho we wanted to plant in. So we went to the owner of the building, and he granted us permission to move into this space.

 

We really are excited about this move, because this space when the work is done will be great and allow us to grow. We are excited about the worship area we will have, where we pray many people will meet Jesus, and the kids area where our children will learn about our senior pastor, Jesus. We now will have space for training events, where we pray more church planters and gospel centered leaders will be raised up by the Spirit.

 

We now have plans ready to be turned in to the city of Rio Rancho. With this work, and with needing to wait on permitting we have pushed back our launch date from Jan. 22nd to Feb. 19th. We are bit bummed to not be starting sooner, but also realizing that a 4 week delay will be worth it for a great location for the next 4 years.

 

Jesus has taught me many lessons in church planting. That He is the Good Shepherd and Senior Pastor of Redemption Church, and that He will lead us in love and faithfulness, has been the most breath-taking and amazing thus far.

 

How can you pray for Redemption?

 

  1. Pray that our leaders and those going to Redemption will continually fix our eyes on Jesus and follow Him. That we would not worry or grow anxious in this, but trust him fully and completely.
  2. Pray that our permits will go smoothly and quickly through the city of Rio Rancho. The only thing that would delay this launch more would be if the city would require more work to be done something we won’t know until we start on the renovations.
  3. Pray that people even in this delay would meet Jesus and be transformed. We are praying for 4 baptisms on our 1st Sunday! We are excited about a new location, not because we want a comfortable space, but because we are excited about the opportunities for more people to meet Jesus, that’s why we exist.
Posted in Church Planting, Redemption Church Rio Rancho | Leave a comment

Make a Plan to Read the Bible and Get your “Mind Right” in 2012

Posted on December 29, 2011 by

The new year always brings about thoughts of “how this year can be different”. While in many ways this is not helpful and usually ends in disappointment and failure, there is something to planning how to approach the year. Planning out how you will date your wife, spend time with your kids, put money in savings among other things are not bad things.

One area I highly recommend planning out is your Bible reading. Not in a legalistic, “If I fail I am a bad Christian” type of way, but in a “I love Jesus and want to spend time with Him” way.

I can hear some say, “But Los isn’t that being legalistic?”. My answer is, no. Discipline is not the same as legalism. Legalism is about finding your salvation and standing with God by your works. Discipline is making a plan, and being intentional with important matters while still finding your worth before God in Jesus alone.

So work towards being disciplined this year. One of the key areas for my life is in starting everyday in the Word of God. I have tried to do it at night, at lunch time, but for me the morning is best. To have the Word of God on my mind all day helps me get through the day and in the right state of mind.

It helps keep my “mind right”. What’s that mean? When I worked for the UNM basketball team I noticed that as we would head to the game on the bus the players would have their headphones on and were jamming to music. The music was their way of getting their mind and focus in the right place to prepare to play the game.

It is not different for us with the Bible. For me, reading the Bible in the morning is like rocking the headphones on the way to the gym, as I get ready for the day, God’s Word gets my mind right. So plan to get your mind right every morning in 2012.

Need help with a plan? Justin Taylor has a post with a number of plans you can choose from, I am doing this one this year.

 

Posted in Bible | Leave a comment

Band of Brothers and Leadership

Posted on December 27, 2011 by

One of the most overlooked areas discussed in the church is that of leadership. As a church planter and pastor I have seen the need to understand what good leadership is and requires.

Obviously our fist place to learn about leadership is in the Bible and really studying the life of Jesus. However, by God’s grace we can and should learn from outside sources, whether leadership books from the business world, or in movies, history books and other places as well.

The 10 part series, “Band of Brothers” is one of the best places to learn about what good leadership is and isn’t. The series follows the 506th Parachute Infantry Division who are in the 101st Airborne during World War Two. The first episode starts with the group in training before heading to Europe and D-Day. By episode 10 the war has ended, the horrors of the holocaust have been seen and the division has lost a lot of men from that first episode.

Before every episode there are interviews with the surviving members of the “Band of Brothers” who really trained and fought in WWII. These interviews make this series real, authentic and full of emotion for the viewer.

How is this series so good for learning about leadership? Especially leadership in the church? Simple, as pastors we are engaged and on the front lines of spiritual warfare, we are leading people who are in their  own battles as well. We are leading people on mission to spread the name of Jesus in a foreign land, they will meet hostility. Watching how men such as Major Dick Winters led when emotions were high and danger was imminent is so valuable and encouraging. Seeing how Lt. Sobel and Lt. Dike failed as leaders by worrying about ego and personal safety are lessons all leaders need to see and learn from. Watching how “the mission” is what forms community and family more than just talking and studying together, helps to guide a pastor to lead his people into authentic Gospel Centered living.

Any church planter or leader would benefit greatly from watching “Band of Brothers”, as would those he leads.

Posted in Church Planting, History, Leadership, Movie | Leave a comment

Blogging Once Again

Posted on December 27, 2011 by

After a healthy break from the blog world and some time focusing and mapping a direction for losgriego.com, I’ve decided to start blogging once again.

It has been a crazy fall.

Redemption Church is on the verge of launching in early 2012.

We have been blessed to see Jesus do some amazing things in our small core team already.

And I want to share what I have learned, am learning among other things.

So check back as I will be discussing church planting, theology, sports and adding a few random thoughts here and there.

If you want to learn more about Redemption Church, click here.

Posted in Redemption Church Rio Rancho | Leave a comment

Samurai vs Bullet

Posted on September 12, 2011 by

Wow!

Posted in Random, video | Leave a comment

Mars Hill ABQ Infographic

Posted on September 12, 2011 by

My friends at Mars Hill ABQ have developed this infographic to showcase some of what Jesus is doing in ABQ and in NM through Mars Hill and Acts 29. I am grateful that Redemption Church can partner, and join Mars Hill and Acts 29 on mission in this area.

Posted in Acts 29, Albuquerque-Rio Rancho, Church Planting, Mars Hill Church, Redemption Church Rio Rancho | Leave a comment