Mom,

So it is the first birthday that you are with Jesus and not here with us. I am not going to lie, it is hard and I miss you. I know you are having the time of your life with Jesus in His glory. This side of Heaven you are missed greatly. I miss your voice, your urges for me to rest and your calls “just to check in”. I miss your laugh and how nervous you get during Lobo Basketball games, it was a good season by the way, and the future is bright. I miss your love and passion for your grandchildren, who miss you too by the way. You were such an awesome mom, still are, because you legacy lives on, you are such a wonderful person.

So many people love you and miss you. You touched a lot of lives during your time here. Dad misses you tons, which is how it should be I suppose. He is an awesome man who loves me and my family well. He loves your grandchildren and spoils them, which I know you wanted. Redemption Church is growing and in a good place. Can you believe it is almost a year since you were baptized, as our first baptism, at the church?!? I do miss seeing you in the front sitting next to dad, and taking notes as I preached. But know what you are hearing now is infinitely better than whatever finite words I could say.

There are still times when I want to call you and ask you a question or just to say hi. Those times are hard, really hard, and happen daily, but knowing that you are with Jesus and that cancer is not touching you anymore makes all the difference.

Anyway I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday, let you know you are really missed, and that I am excited one day to see you again! We will carry on here, cheering on the Lobos, and enjoying the legacy you have left us with. Happy Birthday Mom, I love you.

Your Bubby,

Carlos.

It has been 3 weeks since I held my mom’s hand as she passed from this life.We have had her service to honor and remember her life. Yet there are still parts of me that think I can still call her, talk to her and hear her voice. I know one day that will be true, well not the calling as I am not sure there are phones in heaven, yet there is still that void. There is so much I still want to tell my mom, so much I want her to tell me. In all of this something has hit me that I want to share and encourage you with. Don’t wait to say “I love you”.
I was so blessed that the very last words I spoke to my mom before she passed was “I love you”. I would give anything to be able to say those words again to her now. Yet one thing I regret is not going to visit her the 2 days prior. I was busy, but in light of everything, that busyness was on really unimportant things. Had I known what was coming on Tuesday, I would have been there on Sunday and Monday. Yet I didn’t know, and that’s the point.

None of us know what tomorrow or the next 5 minutes will hold. We walk as though we do. We say “I will get to that later” on crucial things we will regret not doing if we don’t. Maybe we are having a fight with someone close to us and we don’t want to admit we are wrong, or forgive them. Let me plead with you, don’t wait. Enjoy the time you have with one another. You will regret it if you don’t. We assume so much in this life, we take so much for granted. Take it from someone who is on this side of pain and loss, don’t wait to reconcile, don’t wait to call and say “hi”, don’t wait to go visit.

I would give anything to have another day with my mom. But until heaven that isn’t happening. Until then though, I can savior my family gatherings and even my dad’s jokes. Cherish the time you have with your loved ones.

Now that you’re done reading this go text, call or visit, don’t wait!